How To Look 20-Something at Almost FiftyOctober 2002
My childhood friends have all grown old, fat and ugly. I now look more like their son than their classmate or peer. I am still getting carded by bouncers at bars and clubs. I will outlive my enemies—and marry their children.
Allow me to formally introduce myself in between packing for my last-minute trip to Stockholm. I am Elixxir, the Immortalist. My vocation in life is to stay young and live forever. So far, so good. And don’t take my word for it.
Listen to Dr. David Weeks, M.D., an anti-aging researcher who has studied why some people look younger than their age. Or Jamie James, the former art critic for The New Yorker, one of the most prestigious magazines, whose writers aren’t usually prone to hyperbole.
In writing their recent book, Secrets of the SuperYoung (Random/Villard), both Dr. Weeks and James have seen some unusually youthful people. Yet they rave that “Elixxir is amazingly youthful. At forty-two (then), he looks barely old enough to vote. He is his own best argument [for The Elixxir Program].”
Investor’s Business Daily’s Senior Business Reporter Marilyn Much agrees. “Elixxir is… preternaturally youthful… Seeing is believing!” Having compared Elixxir to the other “anti-aging” gurus, Marilyn Much crowns Elixxir as “the only anti-aging guru who has actually stayed young.”
A die-hard doubting Thomas? Go to http://www.elixxir.com and gawk at Elixxir’s picture. Is this what 50 can look like? Yes. If anyone can inspire you to begin your own anti-aging life-extension journey—or stay the course, Elixxir can.
Mortalist “modesty” pushed aside, how would Elixxir describe himself? Boyishly good-looking. Slim, very slim. Smooth, impossibly smooth. Skin glows. Sinewy body. BMI (body mass index) that of late teenagehood. Face, wrinkle-free. Body, fat-free. A 26-inch waist. Cellulite-free buns. Tight abdominals. All achieved without gym torture. No “turtle neck.” No age spots on face or hands giving age away. A full head of hair, still black. The face of a late-twenty-something; the body startlingly boyish. Elixxir weighs less—significantly less—than his siblings and peers. His body is not as long as those fed on Mortalist portions. But the proportion and symmetry—what the Greeks considered the essence of beauty—is probably as good as it gets. Physically, Elixxir remains a very boyish boy.
Through this column, you must pry from Elixxir—at all costs—the secrets behind his miracle. You must not let his “ego,” “hubris” or any other “mortal sins” distract you.
The story of Elixxir’s life is the story of his quest to stay young. To this end, he has been on the only scientific anti-aging life-extension eating program for almost a quarter of a century. He calls it The Elixxir Program. He has successfully adapted and refined this regimen and turned it into la dolce vita (“the sweet life”).
In the “Elixxir Chronicles” you shall peek into Elixxir’s life and savor his Immortalist lifestyle. You’ll discover what it is like to be able to pass for 20-something at almost 50! In the “Elixxir Meditations,” Elixxir will analyze and deconstruct the world from the Immortalist viewpoint.
Come, Elixxir shall reveal how fabulous life can be on The Elixxir Program, his anti-aging eating-lifestyle-and-worldview plan. You will learn how Elixxir is rejecting the 9 to 5; romping between America and Europe; cavorting with the brainy, the beautiful and the celebrated; being chased by suitors half his age; living the life of a young man at almost 50. See how Elixxir is master-coaching students on his program in gay Paree, in cosmopolitan Amsterdam, in Venice and Stockholm.
Discover why Investor’s Business Daily’s senior business reporter Marilyn Much writes “Elixxir is the anti-aging guru to a pampered few in the U.S. and Europe.” You will see what it’s like to create your own alternative, parallel universe—to eat differently, think differently and live differently. This is Elixxir’s path to staying young, forever. It’s the essence of The Elixxir Program.
Come, Elixxir shall confirm what you know in your heart—that another way is possible. One in which the highest good is not fame, fortune or power, but Life and more Life.
If one dares to march to a different drummer, such a stay-young lifestyle is not only possible but glorious—and the only path to happiness. When your mind is opened, you shall understand why this lifestyle is not only good for the individual, but for the planet.
The Elixxir lifestyle: to live as if immortal.
Elixxir is the Immortalist icon and author of The ImmorTalist Manifesto: Stay Young & Save The World (1-800-544-4440). Elixxir is the creator and master coach of The Elixxir Program, his scientific anti-aging eating program. If you wish to learn more about The Elixxir Program, please e-mail firstname.lastname@example.org.